He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
