Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize