Kiss
Puke
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
