does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
