everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
