we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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