dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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