There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
pop tarts are not kleenex
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
