Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
