Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
