So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
