I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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