Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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