is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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