I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
