so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
