if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
