Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
