I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
