Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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