I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
