I must be too annoying 4 u.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
