Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
