There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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