You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
