Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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