we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
