he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
