He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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