i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize