I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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