Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
