p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
