yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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