I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw a hot homeless man
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
