Don't you send me to vm
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
