Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
