At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish i was in the wii world.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
