I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
