people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
