I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
