Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
