i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
two words: eviction party
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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