RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
