i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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