Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
