then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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