Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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(856): View more from New Jersey

there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!

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