I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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