drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
