4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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