her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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