Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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