That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
