So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
