no, he came in my armpit
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
