I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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