sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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