She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
