"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
