Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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