you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
