just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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