I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
