I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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