I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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