She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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