It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
