I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
