The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize