Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
