I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize