I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
